Saturday, January 26, 2013

My Dog Ate My Chart

Hi! I wanted to thank everyone for the responses on the NFP post. I'm going to just put up a second post here rather than overloading the com-box, 'cause it gets hard for folks to follow.

I'll start with a frank and open declaration of what my problem with NFP is. I know that it works for some couples, and that's lovely. The problem is that it is presented as a one-size-fits all solution for all couples, and there isn't room made for individual couples to reasonably discern whether or not it's a practicable solution for their particular situation. I feel lucky because I'm a Canadian, and the Canadian Council of Catholic Bishops has acknowledged this problem and allowed some wiggle-room for conscience in the Winnepeg Statement -- but of course that's severely controversial within the Catholic world.

Thursday, January 24, 2013

Whatever Happened to That NFP Series?

Okay, so I was supposed to be writing a series about NFP and it turned into a series of philosophical dialogues about homosexuality instead. Blame the Muses. I do, however, have a lot of things to say about NFP, and that's what I promised, so here goes.

There are seven common things that I hear about NFP from real people on the ground:

1. NFP is so beautiful because it really respects a woman's body and her natural fertility. I'm not married yet, but I'm really looking forward to practicing it. (Naive Family Daydreaming)

2. My spouse and I used/are using NFP to get pregnant, and it's great. (Natural Fertility Promotion)

3. We used NFP to space our ten beautiful children. (No Family Planning)

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Opening Ceremony

(Catullus and Ali arrive at the Kirkman house. Germanicus and Sheila are already there, filling an effigy of Saturn with olive oil. Juvenal has just arrived. Catullus leaves a small gift at the feet of the household gods and joins his siblings.)

Juvenal: Catullus, Ali. Glad you guys could come out.
Catullus: Hello Juvenal.
Juvenal: Hey little brother, I've been hearing some scandalous rumours about you.
Catullus: Oh?
Juvenal: I was talking to Lydia – You sure you want me to bring this up in public? I could take you aside later.
Catullus: I've nothing to hide.
Juvenal: Brave man. Okay. According to her, not only did you, in clear violation of Kirkman family policy, attend Perpetua's baptism, but you were also observed eating Jesus.

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

The Black Knight

(A phone rings in an apartment halfway across the province where Juvenal, Germanicus and Catullus' older brother, is in the shower. Stepping out, he consults the call display and discovers that Lydia is calling. Shocked and slightly embarrassed at the thought of talking to his big sister without even a towel, Juvenal throws on a bathrobe and answers the phone. Opening pleasantries are exchanged, and then Lydia gets down to the point of her call.)

Lydia: Okay, so this is going to sound crazy...but I think that Catullus might be gay.
Juvenal: Astounding Holmes! What incredible sequence of deductions brought you to that conclusion?
Lydia: So you think so too?
Juvenal: Why do you think I call his “girlfriend” Ali?
Lydia: Why?
Juvenal: Because she's his Ali-bi.
Lydia: So you've thought so for years. But do you have proof?
Juvenal: We've reached the point where even you've noticed. Q. E. D.
Lydia: That's not fair. I mean real proof.
Juvenal: How about you start by telling me what put you on to him?
Lydia: Okay. So we're in a bar, having a conversation with Germanicus and Sheila about the morality of sex. Catullus claims that he's just playing devil's advocate, but he seems pretty invested...